Taking Off The Edge
by RoseAmyH
Summary: Melissa's life is far from perfect. But what happens when she finally meets her Moonshoes Team StarKid friends, and the production company themselves? Will her life finally begin?
1. Prologue

_Prologue  
I don't remember why I started. Just that at that moment in time, I hated everything about my life, and everyone in my life hated me. So I cut. I cut 3 times that day, clumsily, not very deeply, but I did. I remember that first feeling of adrenaline, at seeing the blood run over my wrist and down my hand, the odd numbness. It felt good, like the blood was running away, and taking my troubles along with it. So, when the blood stopped, and my troubles were still there, I cut again. And again.  
Now, I don't even think about it. If I've had a bad day, I'll take out a razor. I could watch the blood run for hours, dying my sink, and the water red, taking the edge off the day. Ironic, that, taking the edge off with a blade. Ha._


	2. Chapter 1 Shitzerland

Chapter One  
"Melissa! Come on, time for school!" The dark haired girl finished applying her eyeliner, crossed off another day on her Moonshoes Productions calendar, smiled at Daniel Holden, her favourite actor's , face, and left, dragging her bag behind her. "Alright, alright, I'm coming!" She stormed back into her bedroom quickly. She'd forgotten her wristband, the most important part of her wardrobe. She slipped it on her left wrist, positioning it carefully, so as to cover the scars, and stormed out again, stomping down the stairs and into the car. Another day at the school from hell.  
La Bord International School, Switzerland. The place that for 2 years now Melissa had wanted nothing more but to leave. She stepped out of the car, said goodbye to her dad, and took a deep breath. What wonders will greet me today, she thought sarcastically. She started to walk up the steps to the school when she saw them. Alice Carpenter and her clones. Oh shit. She lifted her head up high, took another deep breath, and carried on, walking straight past them, confidently. Well, confidently on the outside. "Oh hey, there's Emily Strange again!" "Hey Emily!" "Emo Emily, hahaha!" "Now girls, we're better than petty little insults." Alice spoke, silencing her clones. Melissa turned. This should be good, she thought. "I mean, everyone knows she's good for nothing, ugly, and dresses like a vampire, but does she really need to be reminded of that constantly? She only needs to look in the mirror to see it anyway…" Alice smiled sweetly and walked off, her heels clacking on the school corridor tiles, her gang of cronies following her and laughing. Melissa felt tears burning the backs of her eyes, threatening to spill over, but she wasn't that weak, she wouldn't let them see her hurt. She walked off to her first lesson, feeling more vulnerable than ever.  
"Now guys, I know we've only got a week left, and so we are going to make a start on a project that you will do over the summer. I want you to capture an aspect of your life, something that makes you you, in a journal, a notebook, a story, a collection of poems or short stories, even a piece of artwork. Express yourself, let yourself go, it doesn't matter what society thinks, fuck them, just do what you feel truly expresses you. "Mel smiled. She loved Joy, her English teacher; she was so passionate and creative. She wasn't supposed to let them call her Joy, they are supposed to call her Miss or Mrs. Espere, but she wouldn't let them, it was too incarcerating, apparently. Honestly, she'd be running around naked if she could. Joy went on for a bit longer, rambling as usual, but Mel wasn't paying attention. She knew exactly what to do for hers.  
_Dear Mrs. E, Readers,  
This is my story. It's not perfect, it might not have a happy ending, but it's mine. Some of you have a huge impact on this story. Maybe in a good way, but probably not. Some of you may be the reason for this story. Yes, I'm talking to you, Alice Carpenter. No, not in a good way, you dumb bitch.  
By now you're probably already thinking that I'm incredibly fucked up and you're scrabbling around for the number for the nearest mental hospital, but that won't help. I don't cut because my brain is doing cartwheels. I cut because every single day I get reminded that I'm a worthless piece of shit. Of course, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, my only salvation, but you'll think it's even sadder than I am.  
_The rest of the day was long and droning, Melissa didn't pay any attention in Maths, ICT, or double Chemistry, she didn't even react when at lunch Alice "accidentally" bumped into her, coating her in leftover tomato soup & chocolate mousse. She just wanted to get home and talk to her friends.  
When she finally got home, at 16.30, she immediately ran upstairs and logged on to her computer, excited to tell her friends all about her new project. They'd love it.  
_I have internet friends. I met them through Moonshoes Productions, an online theatre company. But we're more than just theatre nerds, we're people, real people, with real problems and a real love for each other. I'm meeting them in 5 days, the day after school's out, at a Moonshoes concert and I can't wait. They give me something to live for, a reason to keep going. I love them, and I think they might even love me too. That'd be a first.  
_She logged onto her MyBook page and clicked onto the group that her friends are on, and posted;  
"Hey guys, got given such a cool assignment today for over the summer, is it weird I'm quite looking forward to it? M x"  
She scrolled down & saw that her friend Cassidy had posted not 5 minutes before;  
"Hey, guess what?! I got my results! I'm saving them for you guys though, 5 DAYS TO GO! HSOGMGBSNF I CAN'T EVEN, I'M SO EXCITED!"  
She laughed, and commented back that it was awesome and she was excited too, before she got a notification that made her stomach flip. Kristen, one of Alice's clones, had posted a photo on her wall. She clicked, her heart in her mouth. It was a picture of Emily the Strange, but Kristen had edited it, badly, using paint to draw a bigger nose, thick black eyeliner round her eyes, and had written MELISSA in red underneath. The caption read "I couldn't quite draw u exatly, ur fetures r too wonki, but this is u." Idiot. All of the cronies had "liked" it, despite the appalling spelling and immaturity of the picture. Even though it was so crude and childish, Melissa couldn't help but feel crushed by it. She should be used to it by now, she'd been receiving things like this, virtually and physically for 2 years, but it still hurt. She walked into her bathroom and took out her little pink razor, still dotted with blood from the last time she used it, not 2 days before. She ran a sink and held the razor to her wrist. The tears began to flow as she cut, once, twice, mixing in with the blood and running into the water. Her wrist stung for a few seconds, until the numbness kicked in. It was cold, but good, relaxing even. She sat there for a few minutes, watching the blood trickle into the sea of red in the sink, before pulling the plug and rinsing off her arms and bandaging up her wrist, making sure the bandage wasn't thicker than her wristband. Good job I have an en suite, she thought, the only plus side about living here, we have a nice house  
_That's right. Something as simple as a badly edited photo and a few stupid comments can affect a person that much.  
_She wandered back into her room to spot that she had over 20 notifications on MyBook. She clicked to see what they were & saw that her Moonshoes girls had seen the Emily Strange picture.  
Cassidy Lily Trinity: … Really. Like, Really. You dumb mother-. 1) you* exactly* your* features* are* wonky* you* 2) Melissa is beautiful and smart and can read, unlike you, so until you're perfect, don't go picking on someone who already is.  
Mel, we love you, don't let these dumbass bitches get you down 3  
Rebecca Wigan: YEAH, WHAT CASS SAID! Melissa is the smartest, gentlest, cleverest, SEXIEST girl I've ever met!  
Natalie Lopez: Fuck You. That is all. I love you, Mel 3  
She smiled. People really do care. And she was going to meet those people in less than one week. She went to bed early, crying herself to sleep, in a good way._  
It may seem weird to you, but when everyone in your life is a bitch, it's nice to know at least SOMEONE gives a shit. That and a cool blade on my skin, those are the things that keep me going. That, and the idea of moving back to England the minute I turn 18.  
_3 long school days later and she was done with school for the summer. She stood in her room, finishing her packing, on Skype to Cassidy and Lottie, who had just gotten back from Spain.  
"I can't believe we're meeting up again in like, less than 24 hours!" Lottie was always so excited, Mel smiled. "I'll be back in a sec, need to get some stuff from the bathroom." Her friends said okay, and she nipped into the bathroom. Shampoo, Conditioner, Travel toothbrush, Travel toothpaste, Shaving razor, all went into the washbag. She looked at her cutting razor on the shelf, and thought about it for a second. No, you can live without it, she thought. She walked back into her room and packed the washbag into her suitcase. Lottie had gone by then, she had to eat.  
"Hang on, Cassie, forgot something AGAIN." She couldn't do it. She had to bring it, just in case. She ran & grabbed the razor. "Got it!" She flashed the razor at the webcam, accidentally flashing the blade side. Mistake. She quickly shoved it in the case, as Cassidy's face went pale. "Mel, was that.. blood, on the blade?"  
"Yeah, I cut myself shaving earlier, what an idiot, right?"  
"Sweetie, I'm not thick. A shaving cut doesn't bleed that much. Do you….cut yourself?" She looked upset then, clearly bothered by her friend's action. Mel lowered her head and nodded. "Since I got here. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how." Cass's hand was on her mouth, tears rolling down her face. "Oh, honey. You know you can tell me anything, I won't tell anyone. But do you have to bring it with you? You're only here a week & it's gonna be amazing!" Melissa couldn't look at her friend. "I just have to have it there… I'll try not to use it, but it's like a safety blanket… you don't understand." "I know. I don't completely understand, but I'll try to. I know you feel like shit and that you aren't having the best time at school right now, but please just remember that we all love you and you aren't flying all the way back to England for nothing. You're beautiful, you know that?" Melissa nodded, but she didn't take much of what her friend was saying in. It was great to have someone love her so much, but Cassie just didn't understand. They said goodbye and Mel went off to bed, wanting to be ready for her early flight in the morning.  
_I'm trying to go without cutting this week, while I'm in England. It's going to be difficult, but if Cass found out I did it there, she'd kick my ass. Literally. I'm not doing it for me. I'm doing it for her and Lottie and Becca and Natalie and all the others. And Daniel. Maybe I'll trade my wristband in for some bracelets while I'm there… might keep Cassie off my tail all the time, I know she will be on it like I'm trailing chocolate cake along behind me._


	3. Chapter 2 Moonshoes!

"Mel! Melissa! MEL!" Cassie called three times before her friend heard her. Mel span round and ran to her group of friends, recognising them all instantly. They all hugged & headed out to get a taxi to their hotel, catching up on the way.  
"COOL! Cass, Mel, come look at this!" Rebecca called from the bathroom of their room. They ran in to find her clutching a clear washbag with mini shampoos, conditioners, and soaps in. "They give you free stuff!" "Uh…yeah? It's a hotel!" Melissa teased. They were all getting ready for the concert, and it was Rebecca's turn for a shower. "Really. You stopped me taming the mane also known as my hair for freebie shampoo? You mad child. Can we get ready now?" Cass laughed, her hair half straight, half in frizzy waves. Mel's was cut short, so didn't need much doing to it. She never told them why she did it, just that she'd "had it cut".  
_Of course, I don't tell them everything. Cassidy is the only one who knows about the cutting. They don't know anything about my hair, just that it's short. I didn't tell them that I cut it myself, when I just couldn't deal any longer. I just went crazy in my room, I cried, I cut, I threw stuff off my desk, revealing a pair of kitchen scissors I'd taken up there ages before, to do an art project. I took them into the bathroom and just chopped off my hair. I couldn't stop when I started, I just cut it, like it was weighing me down. Of course, it wasn't, then I ended up just looking like a boy, it made my nose look bigger and my face look more round. I sat on the floor & just cried then, like nothing more could go wrong. Mum fixed it as best she could when she saw, but I still don't like it.  
_She put on some make up, and helped Nat with hers, whilst Cassidy & Lottie hogged the mirror. "Guys hurry up, you aren't the only ones who need to get ready!" Katie moaned, mascara tube in hand. "Okay, done. Hurry up guys, we wanna get there early for the meet and greet, don't we?" Cassidy said, jumping on her bed. Mel turned away from her then, as she had taken her wristband off, and was searching for her bracelets in her case. She didn't want her to see her wrist, the amount of cuts that were still fairly fresh, but it was too late. Not that Cassidy said anything, of course, just squeezed her left hand slyly and gave her a small smile. "I love you." She whispered.  
_I'd never told anybody before. I always made sure I never slipped up, never cut too deep so as not to need a doctor. It's quite wimpy really, but I don't think I'd cut to the point of actually killing myself. Well, we'll see what next year is like I guess.  
_"Come on guys, we gotta get in line if we want autographs!" Melissa tugged on two of her friends' bags. She REALLY wanted to get in that line. "What's the rush Mel-Oh.." Katie giggled, realising the reason for her friend's impatience. Daniel Holden had just sat down at the long table with his friends at Moonshoes Productions. "Hold up Mel, you know I've been saving this to open in front of you guys, if I've failed miserably you're the only people who will be able to cheer me up, if I succeed we can celebrate!" Melissa's face lit up and she turned to face Cassie, grinning maniacally. "You mean-" "NO STRIPPING." Her friends all said in unison. "Aww man, but!" "NO." Cassie looked at her sternly, before grinning nervously. A few girls looked at them weirdly, but they didn't care. Melissa being a stripper had been an inside joke in their group for far too long for them to worry about what people thought any more. She acted so confident in herself and her body in front of them, but they had no idea. "Okay. Let's do this." She started to open the large brown envelope in her hand, "DOVE CATHOLIC ARTS AND TECHNOLOGY COLLEGE" stamped on the front. She pulled out a white piece of paper. "Well, there are a bunch of papers inside, that's a good sign, right?" Rebecca said optimistically, clearly as nervous for her friend as Cassie was herself. Cassie cleared her throat and began to read;  
"I got an A in history, an A in English lit, AND an A in Sociology! Oh, and a C in French, but meh." The whole group squealed and hugged her at this. She practically stuck her head in the envelope to get her marks out . Her face fell as she read. "Guys.. I uh… I got full marks in the Creative Writing coursework.. they think I could do it…" Mel screamed then. "TOLD YOU YOU WERE GONNA BE A FAMOUS WRITER! ONE PREDICTION DOWN, NEXT STOP NAKED WEDDING!" She didn't mention the part about Daniel being the groom at her non-existent nude wedding. Like there was any chance of him even noticing her anyway. She didn't notice him looking over at her curiously.  
_Daniel Holden. You'll probably think I'm a crazy fangirl, but he is honestly the most amazing person ever. And to think I'm about to meet him…. Wow doesn't begin to cover it. Another thing about my Moonshoes friends, we have an inside joke running. In which I am a stripper. It happened after Cass made the mistake of putting me & Lottie in a conversation with her normal friends, she told me not to be weird, so I told them I was a stripper and lived in Lottie's whore cave. Didn't think about the repercussions… forgot Cassidy could be evil when she liked…_  
"We're nearly at the front guys… GUYS. YOU'RE HOLDING EVERYONE UP." "You mean holding you up?" Cass said, sarcastically. Always the sassy one. "Don't you mean Holdening her up?!" Everyone groaned at Lottie's joke, as Natalie gagged her. "Don't speak when we get to the StarKids, 'kay?" She teased, as Melissa led them all forward to the first table, where her very favourite man in the world was sitting, with his buddies Robert & Leo. "Hi!" Daniel smiled at her, causing her to almost melt. Keep it together, dumbass, act cool! She thought to herself, grinning widely. "Hey! How are you?" Daniel couldn't stop smiling as he spoke to this girl, her eyes glittering with excitement, as though he was the most exciting person in the world. Yeah right. Her on the other hand.. "Switzerland? Wow, you must be pretty neutral then!" He winked. Oh god, how much cheesier could he get… hehe, Swiss Cheese.. "Haha, yeah, I guess, could be worse, could smell like Swiss cheese that stuff is nasty!" He laughed, then, suddenly felt incredibly comfortable, something he hadn't felt around fans before. She was beautiful and funny, too, could she get any better? He finished signing her friends' stuff, but carried on chatting to her, letting the queue move past him. No one really cared about him signing their stuff, he guessed. "We'll see you later Mel, have fun talking to your husband" One of her friends teased, a tall, blonde girl. "Shut up Kat." Melissa said, blushing furiously. "Oh, and Mel, don't mention the whole stripper thing too early into the relationship, I hear it scares people away!" Another blonde girl said, a shorter one this time, with green streaks in her hair, and a nose stud.  
_Yup, should've known about the repercussions. Now Daniel knows I'm a stripper. Evil Cass be evil._  
Wait, stripper?! HUSBAND?! He grinned then, it was time to get his teasy flirt on. "So, I'm your husband, am I? I definitely wouldn't have married you if I knew you were a stripper! Okay, lie, I would probably have jumped on the opportunity.." He winked. "You pervert!" She said, her face returning to its normal colour, as she laughed. She was so beautiful when she laughed.  
_It's okay, he took it well, even __flirted__ with me about it! Me! "Emily the Strange"! Take that Cassidy Trinity!  
_He looked down, as someone had pushed a poster towards him, and spotted it. Her left wrist had several bracelets on it, but they couldn't completely cover up the scars. He would've recognised them anywhere. He took her hand and looked at her seriously. "Melissa. You are beautiful. Don't forget that again, okay?" He said, stroking her wrist with his thumb, slyly. She went bright red and nodded, a small, ashamed little nod.  
_Oh god, oh god, oh god. He saw the scars. Through the bracelets, he saw them. But he said I/ was beautiful .Is that true? I've never been told that before… He must be bullshitting, to be nice. I guess I'll ask him, later.  
" _Go and catch up with your friends, but make up some excuse to stay in the theatre after, okay? Say your friend lost her nose piercing or something so you have to go back and find it? They can come too, I just… I feel like I have to see you again. Promise you'll come back?" His big blue eyes gazed at her seriously, yet warmly. She was sucked up by every word he said, and could barely string a sentence together. "uhh… okay…sure… sound's good.." She nodded and smiled, before saying goodbye and moving on to catch up with Lottie, who was chatting with Robert, her favourite Moonshoes actor, about socks.  
_I saw him again after the show… he wanted to see me again… maybe he wasn't lying…in any case, fuckin' YEAH!_


End file.
